Wednesday Word of the Week

Probity (proh bih tee)
noun

def - complete honesty and integrity

"George Washington's reputation for probity is illustrated in the legend about his inability to lie after he chopped down the cherry tree"

Alternative Definition
noun

A supernatural entity with a proclivity for anal probing

"Billy and Bobby clenched their butt-holes as they hurried past the old mill that was rumored to be haunted by a probity"

Polish does Boston

My compilation of the Polish Ambassador's assault on Boston

Wednesday Word of the Week

Libertine (lihb uhr teen)
noun

def - a free thinker, usually used disparagingly; one without moral restraint

"The libertine took pleasure in gambling away his family's money"

Alternative definition
noun

A chocolatey malt beverage enjoyed by early American colonists

"Give me libertine with my bread pudding or give me death!"

Mexico, Mormons, Murder & Mitt

It’s nearly November and our country is in the midst of polarizing, political fisticuffs. At any given moment during the next few weeks you may hear one or more of these buzz-words: middle-class, Obamacare, economy , swing-state, Honey Boo-Boo, tax cuts, Taken 2, jobs, gays, guns and abortion. “Can you believe my opponent supports gay abortions at gunpoint?!” 

I find myself toeing the line between apathy and bewilderment. It’s not that I don’t care about the future of our country, I do. I resent having the same social issues debated in the media while important topics such as Iran, the NDAA, Social Security and the Federal Reserve go unmentioned. I try not to peddle my opinions via social media but, hey bro, this is a blog. It’s my duty to provide my readers with over-opinionated, under-investigated melodrama. Plus Facebook needs to know that I “like” Paul Ryan’s abs.

Politics aside, I’m really more concerned with the current state of Journalism. Whether it’s being spewed from CNN or Fox News, It’s oozing with thinly veiled bias. The days of journalistic integrity and hard-hitting, real-life reporting have succumbed to ratings, sensationalism and the almighty dollar. Luckily, Shane Smith and the good people at Vice.com are mad (or crazy, or drunk, or both) as hell and are not going to take it anymore! 

Vice has consistently produced compelling exposes on global issues, traveling to places like North Korea, Libya and Pakistan - places riddled with atrocities that somehow manage to fly under the radar of mainstream media. Their latest video addresses an alarming escalation of violence from our neighbors to the south. Mexico, as a result of America’s war on drugs, has quickly become one of the most dangerous countries in the world. Cartels rule the border ruthlessly murdering rivals, police, journalists, civilians or anyone else that crosses them. One group that has dug in and fought back are the Mormons. That's right, Mormons. Vice traveled to Mexico to talk to members of these Mormon polygamist colonies - including the family of the GOP's golden boy. 

Wednesday Word of the Week

Fecund (feh kuhnd)
adjective

def - fertile; fruitful; productive

"The fecund couple yielded a total of 20 children."

Alternative Definition
noun

An expletive spoken with a mouthful of peanut butter

"Upon discovering his PB&J was made with crunchy instead of creamy, Eddie expressed his displeasure with a guttural fecund."

Wednesday Word of the Week

Pervade (puhr vayd)

verb

def - to be present throughout; to permeate

"Four spices - cumin, turmeric, coriander, and cayenne - pervade almost every Indian dish, and give the cuisine its distinctive flavor."

Alternative Definition:

noun

A parade of perverts

"For five days every year during Mardi Gras the streets of New Orleans turn into the worlds biggest pervade."

Wednesday Word of the Week

Quaff: (kwof, kwaf, kwawf)
verb

def - To drink deeply

"We stopped at a bar and quaffed a few beers."

Alternative Def:
verb 

The act of wafting a queef

"Mortified, Norma tried to quaff the offensive smell towards the window before anyone at the party noticed."

Red Bull Cliff Diving

Is it possible for a man with nuts the size of grapefruits to wear a speedo? In short, yes. I witnessed eleven such men hurl themselves off the roof of the Institute of Contemporary Art into the Boston Harbor during the 5th stop of Redbull’s 2012 cliff-diving world series.

My girlfriend and I attended the event on a last minute whim. I figured dudes jumping off a tall building could be an entertaining way to spend a Saturday afternoon. At best we would be treated to the worlds biggest bellyflop, at worst we would be minutes from some of Boston’s finest waterfront bars. It didn’t take long to figure out I seriously underestimated this event. After watching the first heart-pounding, butthole-clenching, holy-shit-is-he-really-doing-this dive, we were hooked.

Thousands of rowdy Bostonians packed the viewing area as hundreds more looked on from boats docked in the harbor. The atmosphere had a distinctively Redbull feel with ear-blistering music, copious amounts of adrenaline, all orchestrated by a super-bro MC. Two hours of dramatic quadruple spins and triple back-flips later we left stunned and exhausted. I walked away having leaned two things; cliff-diving is a legitimately badass sport and, grapefruit-sized nuts do, in fact, fit into a speedo.

Watch the highlights and see for yourself