5 Things You Didn't Know Were Bro

Once upon a time men were men. They had facial hair, drank heavily and hunted large game. Those glorious days of patriarchy gave way to a more "civilized" society in which women had equal rights and demanded to be treated "fairly." Stunned and confused, men retreated to their only sanctuary - the frat house. Safe inside the walls of the fraternity, men could safely drink, smoke and sack-tap each other free of judgement and thus the bro was born. Starting as a fringe demographic on college campuses, bros recruited like-minded individuals and soon began to grow in numbers. Eventually, armed with testosterone fueled confidence, pastel wardrobes, and staggering BACs, they left the frat house and reentered society. Today bros have expanded outside of their typical stereotypes and co-opted many things once considered un-manly or even feminine. Here are 5 things you didn't know were bro.

Brogurt  

Once a snack food relegated to girls on a diet, now even the most manly of bros will indulge in some peaches and cream Yoplait from time to time. It's lo-fat so you can keep those beach muscles looking pumped and Jamie Lee Curtis says it helps you have regular poops! Hey, you gotta replace the good bacteria in your gut somehow after decimating it with Busch Light and Slim-Jims all weekend.

Broga
You can come up with any excuse you want - I need to get my flexibility game on before football season, I needed one more extra curricular credit, whatever. We all know you are there to stare at assess in yoga pants and trick girls into thinking you are spiritual. "Yo dude that chick totally wants it downward doggy-style."

Bro-ped
You've heard the saying mo-peds are like fat chicks - fun to ride as long as your friends don't see you. Not anymore. The preferred vehicle of 8 out of 10 college aged males, bros are rolling deep in bro-ped gangs in broad daylight - sometimes even multiple bros on one scooter. It seems they have adopted the popular hipster philosophy that something can be so lame that it becomes cool. Ride on bros.

Brotography
Back in the 90's only girls, tourists, and your mom carried around cameras. With the emergence of the smart phone, everybody has a camera in their pocket but that didn't change the fact that posing for pictures was still something only girls did. Bros don't think so. Selfies at the gym, group shots taking shots, and the ever popular shaming pic "dude take a picture of me putting my nuts on this passed out bro."

CosBropolitan
Beer and Whiskey. That's it. If you are a man and you feel the need to drink - which you probably do - those are your options if you don't want to be a puss. If you must drink vodka, make it a shot, or a dirty martini (if you can pull off that James Bond or worlds-most-interesting-man vibe) but for gods sake DON'T order a vodka cran aka cosbropolitan. On a related note, red wine is classy, rose is trashy. Franzia isn't cool no matter how hard you slap the bag. Just put down the brose and shotgun a beer like a gentleman.